Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Hour Is Coming: Heaven Or Hell? Time Is Running Out


As Bible verse-quoting tracts go, this one from Evangelical Tract Distributors is one of the laziest. At least, like the subjects of my last two reviews, it wastes very little of the reader's time.

The middle two pages are Bible verses, lacking even the title/translations that made First The Bad News... so entertaining. I guess they are all in support of the time-running-out theme, but that is left to readers to decide.

The cover contains the overlong title and a picture of a yellow clock, the hour hand pointing to 11. I guess it's representative of time running out, with midnight (or lunchtime) only one hour away. The cover also has some random sentences at the bottom, instructing readers to "flee from the wrath to come" and informing them that "today is the Day of Salvation."

The last page foregoes the usual prayer for Salvation in favour of some really bad poetry. In fact, poetry is too good a word for what this tract's author came up with. "Almost is but to fail, Almost cannot avail, Doom comes at last." WTF does that mean? If you're trying to Save people's souls, don't waste time confusing them with crap.

This tract appears to have been thrown together without a whole lot of thought. It's as if the people at Evangelical Tract Distributors had to come up with one at the last minute to fill their quota, and didn't really care how it came out. "Ooh, ooh, I've got some clip art of a clock," an ETD person might have said. "Quick, somebody grab me some verses about End Times stuff and I'll write some poetry real quick."

The Hour may be coming, and it may take less than a minute to read, but no one should have to give even a second to this pathetic drivel.

Likely to Convert - 0
Artwork - 0
Ability to Hold Interest - 0
Unintentional Hilarity - 0
Level of Disturbing or Offensive Content - 0